EW, HAG: New Yule, old gods
Do you.
I’m tired of playing the game. The one where you position yourself over others while pretending you’re peers. I’m tired of saying I enjoy something or I went somewhere just for someone to interject and say it’s their favorite spot or subtly imply they liked it first. If it’s not that game, it’s one of silent gatekeeping or lying by omission, with rules outside the rules. I’m tired of pretending that money, family, and religion aren’t the leading factors in being recognized or accomplished.
Please, tell me more about how you were able to live in that expensive city and/or go to all those festivals and parties on a freelance writer’s salary. Tell me more about how you were selected for this thing that no one else could compete for. I’m sure your access to money, your connections, your social standing all had nothing to do with it. I’m sure you did it without help most of us will never see.
I’m bitter.
But the game mentioned above, of scratching for relevancy, isn’t at the heart of it. It’s the knowledge that despite talk about progress and equity and one for all, folks are happy to do what they’ve always done. Not because it works. Not because it suits them. Because it’s easy. Because they can’t risk losing those privileges that allow them to look down on someone else.
If I have to find out about another trust, allowance, or inheritance from someone who thinks we’re the same, I will combust. If I have to listen to someone complain about the job they say so many people would kill to have in the same breath, I will lose it. Please, keep bitching about your overbearing family and detailing all the ways they deny your humanity while simultaneously doing nothing to stand up for yourself and defending them! I have to go wash my hair far, far away from you.
A running theme in my life has been denying what’s always been done without question. I tried youth group for a while, but when I said I was having a tough time believing, they had a college student show me artifacts and tell me stories to try to prove to me that God was real. It only convinced me that people will believe what they want to believe when they want to believe it. For a long time that conclusion was held specifically toward religion. Now, as I’m getting older, I see it applies to most things.
As you decide whether to celebrate the winter holidays the way you always have, consider what you actually want. It can be easy to go through the motions to simulate togetherness or peace, but I can attest to how good it feels to take stock of what you want your time to look like and to pursue that without guilt or question.
Some older practices, dating back before Christianity, focused solely on the darkness of this time of year and finding the light in it through pleasure. It sounds a lot like Christmas on the surface, but it’s worth cross-checking your definition of pleasure to find that it can be a lot more fulfilling than that.
This would mean prioritizing something other than your family’s feelings. You might have to say no to something you didn’t want to do anyway. You may have to admit certain popular, widely accepted rituals don’t resonate with you, and find something that does. Which is terrifying, a horror show! But when you finally do you, and can say wholeheartedly that you enjoyed the celebration or get-together or whatever you decide, that contentment will free you from a whole lot of bullshit.
I’m not here to shame you for what you’re proud of. I’m simply asking – if you were writing the rules, would you do it the same? If not, then why are you obeying so readily those rules that don’t value you in hopes of achieving something they don’t intend for you to have?
Have a happy Yule. Hail yourself.
Welcome back to EW, HAG: The Podcast! In October, the third film in the Terrifier franchise took Art the Clown to new holiday heights and new lengths of brutality in its treatment of women. Was this the goal?
Horror writer, director, and SFX artist, Wolfe MacReady, joins to discuss how Damien Leone's series may reflect the times.
Bundle up, it gets colder. Don’t be fooled by the twinkle lights in these holiday-based movies. Normalcy is an illusion.
Eileen by Ottessa Moshfegh perfectly captures the sloshy, dirty-snow feeling of coming home to an abusive house during the holidays. Even darker than its film adaptation, Eileen is a bittersweet salve for folks looking to break generational curses.
Slewfoot by Brom is for the weird girls looking to get their lick back. Unsettling, unforgiving, and brilliant as all hell, it’s a folk horror tale that speaks to the truth of living in the margins and being your own savior.
As if 2024 wasn’t already a new horror media treasure trove, December is simply the cherry on top. Personally, it feels like we’re headed full-speed into a monster renaissance. Here are a few things I’m looking forward to this month:
BOOKS
MOVIES
Thanks for coming back! Regardless of how your year went, I hope you can give yourself a break. The world is on fire right now, and the smartest thing you can do is prioritize your mental and physical health. You’re important. You’re worth it.
